Friday, March 30, 2007

Toilet Humor OK, so I did another dumb thing, but in the end it turned out to be funny--only to myself, of course. In order to make a bathroom story cute and humorous, what better way to illustrate it than with our ol' friend MS Paint, yay! So here's me. The two hands extended towards my groin area would obviously indicate my need to go to the wash closet. You can also see the uncomfortable expression. Pretty self-explanatory--here's me walking to the bathroom. As you can see, I grew an afro on the way there, too. So, I arrive at my destination, and in our bathroom there's only two stalls and a urinal on the left side. I proceed to take stall A (for our purposes, A is stage-left) and do my business (check out my Nike's). I then pull out my trusty pda and start fiddling with it. I was on the precipice of showing the default high score of Bejewelled what's-what when, out of pure excitement, I fumbled the pda, dropped it, and it slid into the next stall. My heart sank as my Bejewelled high score now had to wait another day. I was now frozen in terror because I didn't know how exactly to get it back, so I blurted out the contents of the above bubble to my commode compatriot. It turns out, this is one of my colleagues who I speak to just about every day. He usually jaws my ear off about the Yankees and the Knicks and then he can actually talk for another 30-45 minutes about everything else. Some days he repeats stories, and sometimes he'll tell a story that he told just a day before-hand. So he recognizes my voice and I now recognize his, and he proceeds to slide the device back to me. Now, ordinarily, I would have no problem striking up a conversation with this gentlemen. But, folks, we're in a place where doody is made--and all guys know that you don't talk to each other under these circumstances (for further explanation refer to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw). Hell, even Rev. Al Sharpton would freeze up and turn to stone in a bathroom. So, observing the rules, we both shut up, bringing us to this: I don't think I've experienced a more awkward moment in my life. I sat there for another few mins, without the heart to tackle Bejewelled again. As a postscript, in case you were all wondering, my colleague and I continue to talk about the Yankees starting rotation every day and we don't bring up what transpired in the bathroom. But, it's a secret between us that we'll both bear for a lifetime.