Friday, March 30, 2007

Toilet Humor OK, so I did another dumb thing, but in the end it turned out to be funny--only to myself, of course. In order to make a bathroom story cute and humorous, what better way to illustrate it than with our ol' friend MS Paint, yay! So here's me. The two hands extended towards my groin area would obviously indicate my need to go to the wash closet. You can also see the uncomfortable expression. Pretty self-explanatory--here's me walking to the bathroom. As you can see, I grew an afro on the way there, too. So, I arrive at my destination, and in our bathroom there's only two stalls and a urinal on the left side. I proceed to take stall A (for our purposes, A is stage-left) and do my business (check out my Nike's). I then pull out my trusty pda and start fiddling with it. I was on the precipice of showing the default high score of Bejewelled what's-what when, out of pure excitement, I fumbled the pda, dropped it, and it slid into the next stall. My heart sank as my Bejewelled high score now had to wait another day. I was now frozen in terror because I didn't know how exactly to get it back, so I blurted out the contents of the above bubble to my commode compatriot. It turns out, this is one of my colleagues who I speak to just about every day. He usually jaws my ear off about the Yankees and the Knicks and then he can actually talk for another 30-45 minutes about everything else. Some days he repeats stories, and sometimes he'll tell a story that he told just a day before-hand. So he recognizes my voice and I now recognize his, and he proceeds to slide the device back to me. Now, ordinarily, I would have no problem striking up a conversation with this gentlemen. But, folks, we're in a place where doody is made--and all guys know that you don't talk to each other under these circumstances (for further explanation refer to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw). Hell, even Rev. Al Sharpton would freeze up and turn to stone in a bathroom. So, observing the rules, we both shut up, bringing us to this: I don't think I've experienced a more awkward moment in my life. I sat there for another few mins, without the heart to tackle Bejewelled again. As a postscript, in case you were all wondering, my colleague and I continue to talk about the Yankees starting rotation every day and we don't bring up what transpired in the bathroom. But, it's a secret between us that we'll both bear for a lifetime.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

I called it before the tourney, Georgetown and Florida for the championship. Yes, people, the Big East is still around. Unfortunately Florida's gonna repeat and take this one 90-75.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Foregoing the option to buy new skis, I decided instead to get something I've had my heart set on for a long time: A Fender Stratocaster, yay! It's a 60th anniv. version--now I'm like Hendrix and Jimmie Vaughan, but without the musical talent... well, yet, at least. Enough waxing poetic, here're the money shots: And this is me sleeping with my guitar: Wait a second, I don't remember taking this picture, what the...?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A riddle for the road... A black dog stands in the middle of an intersecton in a town painted black. None of the street lights are working due to a power failure caused by a storm. A car with two broken headlights drives towards the dog but turns in time to avoid hitting him. How could the driver have seen the dog in time?

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Huzzah! Apple just showcased the iPhone and I just found out that it's being sold with Cingular. Double Huzzah! Now I have the option of wasting $600. For anyone who hasn't seen it, get in the know, fool: It's "supposed" to have 4 gigs of memory, 5 hours of talk/browse time and 16 h of audio time, which seems pretty good. The most important thing they have to focus on is battery time. It seems that's what most people care about but nothing out there really seems to deliver on that nowadays. Another thing they need to start thinking about is how to make them theft-proof. You figure that people are now carrying mini-computers on their waste and they're attaching them with a $5 leather strap, or maybe nothing at all. In completely related news, Bush is making a speech about Iraq policy tonight. Hopefully everyone can tune in and watch. Comments sometime this week when I feel like talking about it.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Kumusta kayo, Si Manny Pacquiao ito. I busted headz on Saturday. Ingat kayo. For anyone who didn't hear/see the fight, Pacquiao beat Eric Morales in the 3rd with a KO. It was awesome. Just like the last two fights, it felt like Filipinos vs. Mexicans. Instead of Pacquiao Morales III, they should have billed it Revenge of the Spanish Colonies, or something to that effect. Anyway, I'm starting a campaign to move my favorite fighter, Floyd Mayweather Jr., to come down in weight and fight Pacquiao. I love Pacquiao but PBF is still my favorite. So, let's say Pacquiao-Mayweather in '08...yeah, right. Well, for now we'll just have them battle it out by Youtube training clips: Vs. Check out how fast Manny's shadowboxing is...awesome.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Dear Mommy, Can I have a West Coast Customs 2007 customized Mercedes S550 for Christmas? Oh, with leather interior, thanks. --Me

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Black and Blue and Red... The election coverage was funny last night. I watched CNN first and I chuckled when I saw the "panel." I thought to myself, here we go... I chuckled first when I heard Paul Begala mention Limbaugh and called him a "drug-addled gasbag" or something to that effect. Then I laughed again when James Carville came on because Limbaugh always refers to him as "the forehead." Then I switched over to Fox News and it was so depressing, I felt like I was gonna jump out the window. The coverage was a bit confusing, too, so I left it on CNN the rest of the night. Well, I didn't think Bush would win re-election and, now, I didn't think the Democrats would win so easily in this year's mid-term elections. Right now, the Dems have 227 seats in the house as the Republicans have 195. There are still some undecided races, but the Dems will still have the majority. In the Senate, it's actually tied 49 seats to 49 with Montana and Virginia still being decided. The Democrats would need to take those last 2 seats to have the majority but if it becomes split 50-50, then VP Cheney (since he is the Senate pres. by authority of that thing we call a constitution), would most likely side with the Republicans, thus establishing a Republican majority. What complicates matters even more is that there is the ability for any candidate who loses by less than 1% to ask for a re-count, and that still can't even be done until the official count is announced which is sometime later this month, I think. In cases like this I'm always reminded of people who say that their vote doesn't count, so why bother. Albeit, a vote does count in every election, but the consequences of someone's action (or inaction) are even more glaring in a really tight race. If you think about it, that one person's vote could determine what type of senator they have, and, by consequence, what type of majority is in congress, thus leading to whether we pull troops out of Iraq, and then whether we use stem cells to cure Michael J. Fox, and then whether we stop killing babies, and then this and then that... ok, maybe one vote won't be that drastic, but isn't it nice to imagine that we have that kind of power? In other boring news, the Nets are 1-1 (but they should be 2-0; that last game against Miami was a fluke). They're looking good so far and I'm liking Marcus Williams. I think the Knicks are gonna be sorry they didn't pick him up. Actually, the Knicks are gonna be sorry for a lot of things as the season goes. Giants are looking great even with injuries and for the first time in a very long time, Rutgers football is nationally ranked. This might not be big news outside of the state, but it's huge over here, and we might actually see Rutgers playing in a BCS game. They're undefeated and playing another undefeated team this Thursday. Lastly, I just wanted to slip in that we saw The Departed this past weekend. It was GREAT! I checked on IMDB.com afterwards and found out it was a Hong Kong movie remake. Scorcese says he was "inspired" by the film, but from what I'm hearing, both movies seem to be almost identical. That's kind of a bummer because I've always liked the Hong Kong stuff eg, John Woo, Ringo Lam yadda yadda, but their stuff never seems to translate well to American audiences. And that sucks, because they've been making good flicks. Even more, I've heard Oscar buzz around The Departed, but if Scorcese got passed over for Kundun, the Aviator, Goodfellas, god, even Gangs of NY, and gets an Oscar for this one, then I would just see it as a pity Oscar. Kind of like what Morgan Freeman got for Million Dollar Baby or Paul Giamatti for Cinderella Man. OK, I'm gonna end this now because it's pretty clear I'm not doing any work. If anyone's got a good movie review for me, lemme have it cause I want to hear what's good.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

	I just came back from a taping of Late Night with Conan O'Brien and it was awesome. It should be airing tonight. Details soon. I came across this the other day. Anyone have plans for Halloween? http://www.hauntedhousenyc.com
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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

It was announced a while back that Harvard, starting in 2007, will drop its early admissions policy. Essentially, students won't be able to apply in like October of their senior year and know by December whether they get into Harvard or not, and then agree to solely consider Harvard. So, jocks, you can stop thinking of joining that chess club in order to boost your extracurriculars because it probably won't matter that much. Harvard is adopting this policy (and Princeton just followed suit) in order to give minority and/or low-income students a better chance, according to them. They didn't provide any statistics to show that this would improve the situation, but it would seeeeeeem like this would help; low-income students probably don't have the money to hire private tutors, join SAT classes, or buy expensive study materials. Also, if they're locked into one school early-on, they can't compare financial aid packages from other schools. I don't remember my own experience too much. I think I applied for early admission to UPenn, but they dropped me like a bad habit. I then applied regular admission to some other schools and got wait-listed at one. Financial aid was important for me, so I can see how weighing your options is important. But, I didn't really see a frenzy with people trying to compete for early-admissions spots, which is the circumstance that Harvard is trying to address. I would think that with schools dropping their early admissions policies, it would maintain or even increase the competition for regular admission, because now the pool of applicants is that much larger. I think the real problem for incoming students is the SAT and just the cost of tuition alone. SATs are the worst indicator of potential college performance and tuition costs are really unbearable, even with financial aid. But, why worry about all that stuff. Maybe in the future all schools will drop their early admissions policies, and that's good news for you seniors. So put down the books and do those keg stands, because now you'll be able to enjoy your senior year. Cheers to you!

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Someone at work told me this looked like me if I wore a woman's wig. Is that true? Because if it is, I will be severely depressed. And then I will proceed to kick major ass at work tomorrow morning.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

So, I was at the gym the other day and as I was walking by the TVs, I saw on the news crawl that a suspect in the 10 year-old JonBenet Ramsey case had confessed. The first thing I thought was, "What the hell, it's been 10 years?" It really doesn't feel like it's been that long. Well, anyway, when I read that this guy Karr said it was an accident, my question was how could it have been an accident when the girl was molested, beaten and killed? It seems like a basic question but it's strange that all the news reports don't seem to be trying to reconcile those facts. One of the legal advisers on NBC was saying that this still might not bring an end to this case because any whack-o can confess to anything but it still might not be supported. Another strange thing is that if DNA was found from JonBenet's body and John Mark Karr was already a suspect (AND a convicted child molester), then why didn't they try to match his DNA before? There's something bizarre about everything. Even the press conference in Thailand was creepy. Well, if this guy is guilty I guess the one good thing that you can take away from this, if anything, is that the parents of the child will be vindicated. It's crappy to think of all the indicted innocent people out there who don't have a John Mark Karr to come forward to prove their innocence. Sometimes the court of public opinion can doom you just as much as those prison walls. Meanwhile, midway across the world, things have been quieting down (somewhat) in the Middle East. But, now it's getting crazy over here in the office. Our chief broke the news to us that the UN is coordinating the movement of 45,000 extra people to the region. That's about 30,000 new potential compensation claims that I'll be handling. That's on top of the 40,000 people that I already handle, BY MYSELF! I don't even know why I'm writing this Xanga right now, I've got a stack of crap to get to. I guess when the amount of work just gets so absurd it fortifies your latent hatred of things to the point where you don't care too much about performing well anymore. Maybe all I need is a vacation. Sorry, I'm just talking to myself now. Are you still reading this? Well, the weekend should be fun. Yanks only 2 games up on Boston and after today's game they got a 5-game series against the Red Sox, in Fenway. Oh mercy. This is the stuff that dreams are made of. I have no idea what that means.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Find this magazine in your bookstore--you'll find the culmination of 6+ great years.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Kool & the Gang dead in Maplewood? Most of you probably won't care for this.. Actually, scratch that, none of you will care for this, but I just read that a Kool & the Gang co-founder died in my town. It's odd seeing "Maplewood" in a national news story in connection with the writer of one of my favorite and sometimes hated Filipino party tunes. Apparently their house is on the other end of my street. Maybe he died from hearing the song too much. http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/06/23/obit.smith.ap/index.html

Friday, June 09, 2006

Always Wear Your World Cup After another four years, it's time for another World Cup. I probably wouldn't even know about it, but it's all anyone can talk about around here. I might be heading over to the German permanent mission to check out Germany's match against Costa Rica. The US won't play until Monday and it should be fun to follow the team--it's supposed to be the best US team ever assembled. I think I'll be more interested in the audience behavior than I will be with the games. Jeremy Schaap presented a crazy story on Sportscenter the other day about racism in soccer/football. In some matches, fans have been known to throw bananas on the field to provoke black players; they've shouted racial slurs at other players; and some bring in posters of swastikas and do the Nazi salute. Let's hope FIFA can take the proper action if things like that start to occur.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

If Katie Couric can do it, then, dammit, so can I. http://www.wnbc.com/entertainment/9297466/detail.html